


Hypnotizing Lumpy

by sarahgirl1998



Category: Multi-Fandom
Genre: Comedy, Crossover, Gen, Humor, Hypnotism, hijinks and shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:55:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28557969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahgirl1998/pseuds/sarahgirl1998
Summary: King Dedede hires a magician to hypnotize Lumpy, and then has some fun with the now-hypnotized moose.
Kudos: 1





	Hypnotizing Lumpy

King Dedede sat down on his throne and pushed a button, causing his TV screen to switch on.

"Good morning, Triple D," said Customer Service. "How can I help you?"

"This morning, I'm in the mood to annoy that Lumpy guy," King Dedede replied. "Got anything for that?"

"Well, for a reduced price, we could hire someone to hypnotize him for you."

Dedede's eyes went wide from the idea. "Hypnotize?"

"That's right," Customer Service said. "By hypnotizing Lumpy, you'll put him in too much of a daze to pay attention to the world around him. The only thing he'll do is whatever you want him to do."

King Dedede thought about this for a moment, then gave a devious smile.

"Whatever I want him to do, huh? Sounds cool enough. But how much does it cost to hire that somebody to do hypno-whatever?"

"Only 25 dollars a day," replied Customer Service.

Dedede made his decision as soon as he'd gotten his answer. "Send him over!"

"Right away, sire. He'll be over as soon as he can. Have fun!"

The TV screen shut off. A few minutes later, King Dedede heard a knock at his castle doors, so he got up and ran over to the door. When he opened him, there was a dark grey moose who was dressed as a magician.

"Hello, are you the one who hired me?" the moose asked.

"Yeah. I'm King Dedede."

"My name is Eric Lambert, and I'm an expert hypnotist. But just call me Lambert, please," said the moose.

"Alright. As long as you can hypnotize a little friend of mine to do whatever I want," said King Dedede. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna find a way to bring him over!"

"Very well, then," replied Lambert.

It was then that King Dedede headed out of his castle to find Lumpy.

A few feet away from the castle, Lumpy was taking a walk through the forest. Since he didn't have to work today, he thought it would be a good idea to get some fresh air. But what he didn't realize was who was watching and waiting for him.

Lumpy saw a flower growing out of the ground and smiled. He reached down and picked it up - but before he could even try and smell it, Dedede raised his mallet up and hit Lumpy right on the head. Lumpy winced, then fell to the ground. Satisfied, King Dedede put away his mallet, then picked up Lumpy and carried him back to the castle.

Lambert was waiting for him when he returned. "So this is your 'little friend,' isn't he?" he asked.

"Yeah," King Dedede replied, although it was clear that Lumpy wasn't his friend. He put the unconcious moose down on the floor. "His name's Lumpy. When he wakes up, I want you to hypnotize him. I'll take it from there."

"If you insist," Lambert replied.

A few minutes went by, and Lumpy slowly opened his eyes. He had no memory of what happened, nor did he know what was going on, although he did feel a mild pain in his head. He sat up, with one hand rubbing his head, but then his eyes widened.

"W-what the...?"

"Get to it!" Dedede said to Lambert.

In response, the magician moose pulled out a little hypnotizing wheel and held it in front of Lumpy's eyes. He began to wave it back and forth, with Lumpy's eyes following its movement. Soon his eyelids started to feel heavy, although his eyes themselves started to feel a bit dizzy. Lambert pulled his hypnotizing wheel away from Lumpy.

"Now, all you have to do is tell me what you want him to be, what he'll let you do to you - or what he'll do for you," Lambert explained.

King Dedede thought for a moment, then got an idea. He whispered something into Lambert's ear, and he nodded in understanding. Then he turned to Lumpy.

"Lumpy, I command you to..." Lambert paused for a moment. "Act like a dog!"

Lumpy's eyes widened and pupils shrunk for a split second. Then he got down on all fours, and began to bark.

"Ruff! Ruff!"

King Dedede smirked, then laughed. "Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh! Man, what a doofus!"

"Ruff, ruff! Ruff!" Lumpy barked a few more times, then sat down and tried scratching one of his ears with his back leg. It looked ridiculous for him to do, since he wasn't actually a dog.

"What's with all the ruffing?" someone then asked.

When King Dedede, Lambert and Lumpy turned toward the voice, they saw that Escargoon had entered the room. There was no doubt that he had heard what was happening. When Escargoon tried to walk up to King Dedede, however, Lumpy ran in front of him and growled.

Escargoon winced in disbelief. "What in blazes...?!"

"What do you think? Is this hilarious, or what? Heh-heh-heh!" said King Dedede.

"Sire, what'd you do to this moose?!" Escargoon wanted to know.

"I believe you mean, what'd I do to this moose?" Lambert replied. When Escargoon turned to look at him, Lumpy looked around, then brought one of his paws up to chew on it. He must have been trying to get a flea off of him. "I was hired by King Dedede to hypnotize this moose for his personal entertainment - the King's entertainment, not Lumpy's."

Escargoon didn't look amused. "I don't know if I should be amused over what's happening, or jealous that this is how you earn your money," he stated.

Lumpy then looked behind him, and then ran in a circle for a moment, trying to chase his nonexistent tail. Dedede laughed once more, and Escargoon smirked a little. Dedede saw that as well, which amused him further.

"Ha! Made you smile!"

"No, it didn't," Escargoon claimed.

"Don't lie to me, you know this is funny!" said King Dedede. He then turned to Lambert. "Hey, how do I get him to do something else?"

"It's simple. Just walk up to me and tell me what you want him to do or what you want him to be next," Lambert explained.

King Dedede then went up to Lambert and whispered something into his ear. Lambert gave another nod and turned to Lumpy.

"Lumpy, I command you to... act like a cat!"

Lumpy's eyes widened and pupils shrunk once again, and then he began to lick his hand. King Dedede looked at him in response.

"That's it? He just licks himself?"

"Moww?" Lumpy replied with a meow.

The amused smile returned to Dedede's face. "That's better!"

Lumpy then plodded over to Escargoon and jumped up onto his shell. Escargoon not only winced in surprise, but then fell over.

"Mrow!" Lumpy gave another meow as he nuzzled his head against Escargoon's. The snail looked a tad uncomfortable at first, but then laughed as well.

"Who am I kidding? You're almost as funny as the cats from those online videos!" said Escargoon.

"What'd I tell you?" King Dedede asked in agreement.

As Lumpy jumped off of Escargoon, however, another idea came to King Dedede. He turned back toward Lambert and whispered something else to him. Then Lambert looked back over at Lumpy.

"Lumpy? I now command you to... act like a chicken!"

Again, Lumpy's eyes widened and pupils shrunk. He stood back up, but then put his fists to either sides of his ribcage and started clucking. Dedede and Escargoon laughed in amusement.

"That's a good one, Sire!" said Escargoon. "Let me try it."

"Sure, why not?" Dedede replied.

Escargoon walked up to Lumpy, who tilted his head in curiosity as he looked up at him.

"Lumpy, why don't you, um..." Escargoon thought for a moment, then held up a marker. "Let me draw on you?"

Lumpy's eyes widened and pupils shrunk. He puts his arms down, and then lay down on the floor with his head up.

Escargoon smiled and made his way up to Lumpy. He drew four lines on his belly - two down, and two across. Then he turned to look at King Dedede.

"Feel like playing a quick round of tic-tac-toe, sire?"

Dedede smiled and pulled out a marker of his own. "Oh, boy, do I! You're going down!"

He made his way over to Lumpy, who stayed still for him and Escargoon. And so the penguin and the snail played; King Dedede was drawing X's, and Escargoon was drawing O's. Almost a minute had gone by, however, before all of the spots had been filled in. And none of them were three of the same symbol in a row, so it was a tie. But it was alright; Dedede and Escargoon just laughed in amusement.

"Well, now that that's over with, what should we do with Lumpy now?" Escargoon wanted to know.

King Dedede thought for a moment, and turned back to Lumpy. "Lumpy? You're a doll!"

Lumpy's eyes widened once again, but he didn't move. He blinked sometimes, but didn't move a muscle.

"You're making him be a doll?" Escargoon didn't understand why Dedede had made that command.

"Trust me, it'll be hilarious..." King Dedede replied. "Now, turn around and don't look!"

Escargoon turned around and waited a few minutes. Unbeknownst to the snail, King Dedede was grabbing some clothes and placing them on Lumpy.

Finally, Dedede said, "Okay, you can look now!"

Escargoon turned around, and his eyes widened in surprise. He put both of his hands to his mouth, snickered a bit, and then burst out laughing.

Lumpy was now wearing a dress with some high heels, as well as a straw hat with a ribbon on it.

"Oh, my gosh! That IS hilarious!" said Escargoon, his laughter continuing.

King Dedede laughed as well, and then picked up a camera that he had nearby. He aimed the lens at Lumpy and pushed the button, causing a picture of him in this ridiculous outfit to be taken.

"I'm never gonna wanna get rid of this picture! Heh-heh-heh!" said King Dedede.

After he'd had his good laugh over his picture, another idea came to Dedede. He removed the clothes from Lumpy, then turned back to Lambert.

"Hey, magician guy!" Dedede said, and Lambert looked up at him. "I wanna throw some pies at him!"

"Very well, then." Lambert then looked over at Lumpy, and then told him, "Lumpy? I command to let the king throw pies at you."

Lumpy didn't seem to respond, but it was alright; King Dedede could tell he was obeying, anyway. Dedede left the room for a moment, then came back with a cart full of custard pies. He couldn't help but stifle a few chuckles.

"This is gonna be great!" Dedede said to himself.

He then picked up one of the pies, then threw it at Lumpy. It landed on his face with a splat, but he didn't even wince. King Dedede then laughed at Lumpy, pointing at him as he did so.

"Sorry, buddy, my hand must've slipped!" The tone in his voice heavily implied that his "apology" wasn't sincere.

Lumpy didn't reply, but unconsciously licked some of the custard off his lips. He gave a little smile afterward, which told King Dedede he liked it. So the penguin responded by taking some more pies and throwing them at him, one by one. Escargoon watched, laughing along with Dedede, until there were no more pies to throw.

"Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh!!" King Dedede laughed a bit more, seeing that Lumpy was now covered in pie cream. "I haven't had that much fun throwing pies since that whole One-Minute Cooking incident!"

Escargoon smiled. "I'm glad you're finally looking back on that on a light note, sire."

But when he heard that, King Dedede slapped Escargoon in the face.

"I never said that!" said Dedede as Escargoon rubbed the side of his face with his hand.

"Sorry... So now that we're out of pies, what would you like to do to Lumpy now?"

Dedede thought for a minute, then got another idea. "What if I drew a mustache on his face?"

"Not that I haven't heard of that before, but I don't see why not," Escargoon replied with a chuckle.

King Dedede turned back to Lambert and whispered his idea to him. Lambert then looked back over at Lumpy.

"Lumpy, I command you to let the king draw a mustache on your face."

Lumpy nodded unconsciously in understanding. King Dedede then smiled as he held up a black marker, from which he removed the cap. He then went over to Lumpy, wiped some of the cream off his face, and drew a mustache on his nose.

When they looked at the result, Dedede and Escargoon snickered at first, but then burst out laughing.

"Oh, my gosh!" said Escargoon. "I almost didn't recognize him!"

"Neither did I!" replied King Dedede. "Heh-heh-heh!"

Lambert couldn't help but chuckle when he saw Lumpy with his drawn mustache. He made sure to put his hand over his mouth, however, to keep himself from being too audible. It was then that Dedede got yet another idea and went back up to the magician. He whispered what he wanted Lumpy to do next, and Lambert nodded.

"Lumpy?" Lambert asked Lumpy, "I command you to... act like a monkey!"

Lumpy's eyes widened and pupils shrunk once again. He then began to hoot and chatter as he crawled around on all fours. He turned his head this way and that, and then went up to King Dedede. He then climbed up his back, onto his shoulders. The penguin responded with an amused laugh.

"Man, what a goofy buffoon!" said King Dedede.

Lumpy continued to hoot, not responding to his comment. As he did so, Escargoon got an idea. He turned to look at King Dedede.

"Sire, may I make a suggestion?"

"I guess. What do ya got?" Dedede wanted to know.

"What if we got Lumpy to use his antlers as a baseball bat?" Escargoon asked.

Dedede looked at him in disbelief, but then laughed. "That's a good one! I could'a come up with that!"

King Dedede went back up to Lambert and whispered his next command into his ear. Lambert nodded in response, and then looked over at Lumpy.

"Lumpy?" Lambert asked. "I command you to use one of your antlers as a baseball bat."

Lumpy's eyes widened and pupils shrunk once again as he snapped out of being a monkey. Knowing what was happening, Escargoon reached behind his back and pulled out a little baseball. He offered it to Lumpy, whose pupils were still shrunken, and then he took it from him. He walked away from Dedede and Escargoon, then put his free hand up to one of his antlers. He pulled a bit, and then took it off with a single pull. Lumpy then tossed the baseball into the air and tried to hit it with his detached antler - as Escargoon had suggested, like a baseball bat.

The baseball fell to the ground, however, but it was alright. Lumpy picked it back up and tried again, although he missed again. King Dedede and Escargoon watched and laughed as Lumpy tried to use his antler to hit the ball.

"Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh! Good golly, what a dope!" said King Dedede.

.

"Even the not-so-skilled kids from Backyard Baseball weren't this bad," Escargoon mentioned.

"Have you have enough now?" Lambert asked. He didn't look nearly as amused as Dedede and Escargoon for putting Lumpy through all of these shenanigans.

"Well, alright..." Dedede was a bit dismayed that his fun had to end so soon, but he smiled at the magician. "But thanks for coming over and letting me do all this to him!"

"Think nothing of it," said Lambert. "But speaking of thinking nothing, if I ever meet Lumpy again, I believe I owe him an apology for putting him through this... But for now, all of this is going to cost you 25 dollars."

King Dedede then looked down at Escargoon, who looked a bit intimidated. His expression then turned into a defeated one, however, and he pulled out his wallet. From it he removed a twenty dollar bill and a five dollar bill, which he handed to Lambert.

"Thank you very much," said Lambert. "By the way, I can still make one last command before I leave if you'd like."

"Ah, I guess you can just make him go to sleep," said Dedede.

"Very well, then."

Lambert then walked over to Lumpy, who was still trying to hit the baseball with his antler. When he saw Lambert approach him, however, he placed his antler back where he'd gotten it.

"Lumpy? For my final command, I command you to go to sleep," said Lambert. "And when you wake up, you'll no longer be under my hypnosis."

Lumpy nodded, and then yawned into his hand. He put down the baseball, lay down on the ground and went to sleep, snoring audibly. Lambert nodded to himself, and then made his way out of the castle - but not without bidding the penguin and the snail his goodbyes.

"Fare thee well, Your Majesty," said Lambert.

"See ya some other time!" King Dedede replied as he waved to him.

Finally the magician had left the castle, leaving King Dedede, Escargoon and Lumpy alone in the castle.

"That certainly was fun, sire," said Escargoon. "But now that we've got all those hypno hijinks out of the way, what should we do now?"

"How 'bout we go picking on the people of Multimedia?" Dedede suggested. "At least Lumpy won't be there to tell us we can't."

Escargoon nodded in agreement, and then he and King Dedede made their way out of the castle. Now it was just Lumpy, still sleeping away.

About half an hour later, Lumpy's eyes slowly opened. He sat up on the ground, yawning into his hand, and then rubbed his eyes with his hands.

"Ugh... what happened?" Lumpy asked himself.

He looked down at his body, only for his eyes to widen in horror. He had just seen the finished tic-tac-toe game on his stomach, as well as the amount of cream on his torso. He brought his forefinger over to it to take a smudge off, then brought it into his mouth. It tasted good, but it tasted like pie cream... He must have been from when he was hit by pies earlier.

Lumpy then stood up and went over to a mirror. He cringed in horror, seeing the drawn mustache on his nose. The moose was sure King Dedede had done all of this to him, but he wasn't in the castle at the time, so he couldn't complain to him. So Lumpy just sulked with a depressed sigh.

"I need to go home and take a shower..." said Lumpy. "I'm sure that'll help me forget about whatever the heck happened to me today."

Lumpy made his way out of the castle doors and started on his way home. Whatever had happened while he was hypnotized, he could only hope that King Dedede would take some time to think about what he'd done. And if not, at least the moose could always look for a way to get revenge on that jerk of a king.


End file.
